


Spies Have Good Taste

by Katyakora



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Chef Barry, Multi, Spy Iris, Spy Leonard, spy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katyakora/pseuds/Katyakora
Summary: Eobard Thawne needs information on the late Henry Allen's work, and he'll stop at nothing to get it. Leonard and Iris have been dispatched by their respective agencies to keep that information out of Thawne's hands at any cost.Barry just wishes they'd stop blowing up his business.Inspired by coldtomyflash's tumblr post.





	

“Come with me if you want to live!” Two voices called out in unison.

 

Barry just gaped at the pair of hands reaching out to him from the doorway, at the pair of agents who were now glaring at each other. Outside his food truck, gun shots rang out, and both Leon and Isla turned and shot expertly over the other’s shoulder, felling their targets before sharing an uncomfortable look of mutual respect.

 

“What? No! No, I’m not going with either of you!” Barry exclaimed, finally regaining his faculties. He tried to get to his feet from where he’d fallen on his arse the instant he’d heard gunfire, but thought better of it and ducked back under the counter when a bullet whizzed past his ear. “You two destroyed my restaurant!”

 

“Eobard Thawne destroyed your restaurant,” Leon corrected, wrinkling his nose like he took offense to Barry’s accusation. Barry’s jaw dropped.

 

“You blew up my kitchen! Literally!”

 

“To save your life,” Isla snapped back, leaning around the truck to let off a shot that seemed to result in a distant explosion and agonised screams. Barry fervently hoped that Cisco and Caitlin hadn’t decided to finish their lunch break early.

 

“We don’t have time for this, West,” Leon barked, addressing Isla, “I’ll carry, you cover me?” 

 

It sounded like it should have been an order, yet it came out as a question. It wasn’t something you’d expect from either a seasoned secret agent or even the suave salesman he’d been playing when he began frequenting Barry’s old restaurant, The Streak. Barry had been utterly charmed by him the first time Leon had personally offered his compliments to the chef, and had been delighted when he became a frequent, VIP customer. Barry often swung by his table to hear what he thought of each meal if he could. Leon even had a permanently reserved table, right across from the table reserved for a certain perky reporter. Isla had interviewed Barry for a piece she was doing on young entrepreneurs in the city, and had apparently fallen in love with the cuisine that night, because she kept coming back. Barry made a point to stop by her table if he wasn’t rushed off his feet when she was there, she was funny and sweet and seemed to be really rooting for him to succeed.

 

He’d also noticed the intense looks they would send over whenever Barry stopped at the other’s table. He thought it was sweet that his two favourite VIPs seemed to have their eyes on each other, even if he was a little disappointed himself. He also may have taken it upon himself to help them make a move. Much to his maitre’d Caitlin’s annoyance, he’d had their tables shifted ever so slightly closer together every night until the only reason they looked like separate tables at all was because of the two chairs squished between them. He’d thought he’d been successful when he spotted them outside one night, standing very close together and talking in hushed voices. It was dark, so he couldn’t see much, but Isla had a hand on Leon’s wrist and he had her pressed up against the wall, so close their noses almost touched as he spoke. Barry had scuttled back inside for fear of ruining their intimate moment. Of course, that was also the night that he found out he was being hunted just because of something he  _ might  _ know and Leon and Isla were actually rival secret agents sent to track him.

 

That had actually hurt. When all hell broken loose at The Streak, they’d both risen from their seats and drawn weapons. Gone were the urbane gentleman and the vibrant young woman, replaced by a pair of cold, battle-hardened professionals who expertly wrecked havoc through the restaurant that had been Barry’s dream. They might have been customers but he’d considered them friends, and it hurt to realise he probably didn’t even know their real names. After the incident, when his business had literally gone up in flames, they’d both cornered him and explained the situation, trying to get him to go to each of their respective agencies for protection. Barry had been so angry and hurt at their deception and what he’d lost that he had refused them both and told them he never wanted to see either of them again. And for the last six months, he hadn’t.

 

Now it seemed that Thawne character had found him again and Isla and Leon had appeared out of nowhere like his own personal gun-toting guardian angels.

 

Isla nodded gravely at Leon and he moved without hesitation, scooping Barry up like a sack of potatoes and ran while Isla laid down cover fire from right behind him. Before Barry could even register what had happened, he was being shoved into the back of a nondescript SUV, Leon piling in after him as Isla slid behind the wheel, tires screeching even before they’d closed all the doors. Barry wasn’t sure what was more deafening, bullets slamming into the car or Leon leaning over him to shoot out the window.

 

“Snart, tell me your people have a safehouse near here!” Isla yelled as she swerved wildly through traffic.

 

“None that I can take an unauthorised agent to,” he answered, taking the time to buckle Barry’s seatbelt before going back to watching for pursuit out the window. In the front, Isla scoffed.

 

“Are you kidding me? I thought we were supposed to be working together on this case now! Whatever happened to inter-agency co-operation?”

 

“Only goes so far, West. Or are you really telling me no one would bat an eyelid at you walking me into your headquarters?”

 

“Point. That doesn’t give me a goddamn destination though. Motorcycle, 5 o’clock!”

 

Leon smoothly shot the biker off his seat before he could finish raising a wicked looking gun. 

 

“Fine. I know a place. It’s not an agency safehouse, but it’s safer than one. Take a left here.”

 

Barry just sat in the back of the car, trying to calm his racing pulse as Isla took a twisted, complex route through the city at Leon’s instructions. They ended up in a poor part of town, their SUV disappearing into a private underground car park that couldn’t be seen from the street. Despite his protests, Barry was manhandled out of the car and up a dark flight of stairs, down a dizzying maze of corridors and finally deposited on a couch in what looked to be a small, tidy apartment. It was quite nice, actually, apart from the fact all the windows were boarded up.

 

“What is this place?” Isla asked with a frown as she checked how much ammo she had left.

 

“Safehouse,” Leon informed her absently as he went around checking the windows, doors and seemingly random places like under the sink and behind the tv. “From my less-than-law-abiding, pre-agency days.”

 

“Really? Are we gonna find a stolen Monet behind the shower curtain?” Isla quipped, although she looked a little intrigued. Barry was too, despite himself.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous; that’s just asking for water damage,” Leon scoffed, rolling his eyes before they finally settled on Barry. “Sorry, it’s not much, but you’ll be safe here.”

 

“Safe?” Barry spluttered, incensed. “Before I met you two, my life was the epitome of safe! I was a chef! My biggest worries were kitchen burns and whether or not the deliveries showed up on time! And, and now I’m on the run, being chased by mad men with guns, with two people I thought I could trust but it turns out I don’t even know your goddamn names!”

 

Silence followed his outburst, the pair of spies sharing unexpectedly guilty looks.

 

“Iris.” She stepped forward and held out a hand to shake, her body language sincere. “Iris West.” After a moment’s hesitation, Barry shook the offered hand.

 

“Leonard Snart. Call me Len.” He smoothly replaced Iris, shaking Barry’s hand.

 

“We are sorry, Barry,” Iris assured him, taking a seat in the chair opposite him. “Unfortunately, deception is a necessary part of what we do.”

 

“We didn’t enjoy lying to you,” Leonard added. Iris arched an eyebrow at him.

 

“Really?” Her voice dripped with obvious disdain, prompting Len to scowl at her.

 

“Just because I’m proud of my record doesn’t mean I enjoy deceiving people. Just the guilty ones.”

 

“And here I thought you just assumed everyone was guilty.”

 

Barry watched the two of them bicker back and forth, becoming increasingly baffled. There was so much tension between them he could practically taste it. He wasn’t sure if they were about to come to blows or start making out. 

 

“Maybe your methods just aren’t that good,” Iris was saying.

 

“They seemed to work on you just fine,” Len drawled back with an evil smirk. That statement suggested a lot, and Barry expected it to fluster Iris, but she only rolled her eyes.

 

“Oh please, don’t give yourself so much credit. I was stressed, you were convenient.”

 

Before Len could counter, Barry interrupted.

 

“Hold on, so you two slept together, but you aren’t  _ together _ together?”

 

“No!” Two voices indignantly protested.

 

“Wait, you thought we were together?” Iris added.

 

“Uh huh. The whole restaurant had bets going on it.”

 

“That’s why it didn’t work!?” Len burst out to Barry’s surprise. Iris cackled, earning herself a glare from Len.

 

“Uh, what?” Barry asked, lost.

 

“Len here’s a little pissed you managed to break his perfect record,” Iris informed him gleefully. “Apparently, you’re the first person, in his entire career, that he’s failed to charm.”

 

“Don’t look so smug, West, you failed too.”

 

“Wait, you were flirting with me? Both of you? The whole time?” 

 

“Yes,” Len deadpanned, looking like he couldn’t believe Barry was actually obtuse enough to need that clarified.

 

“Oh,” was all Barry could say, as a lot of past conversations suddenly made more sense and he blushed retroactively. Len turned his unimpressed gaze on a smug Iris.

 

“He thought I was unavailable, so it doesn’t count.”

 

“It counts,” Iris countered.

 

“No, it doesn’t.”

 

“Actually, I think Len’s right. If I hadn’t thought he was into you, I’d’ve, um, y’know…”

 

Len grinned like the cat that got the cream at Barry’s stuttered admittance. This whole conversation seemed surreal and absurd, and Barry shook his head to clear it.

 

“Ugh, why am I even telling you this? You’re the assholes who lied to me!”

 

“True. In that regard, I’m glad I failed. I’d have hated breaking your heart.” Len seemed sincere, and Barry fought not to soften his angry stance. Iris sighed, her smug expression dropped.

 

“Look, Barry, I know that nothing about this situation is ideal.” She ignored his derisive look. “But, like it or not, you’re going to have to trust us for the time being if you want to survive.”

 

“Right, I should trust the lying spies who don’t even trust each other.”

 

The two spies shared a serious look.

 

“Our issues are personal, but professionally, Len and I are absolutely in this together to keep you safe. It’s our top priority,” Iris assured him gently.

 

“Speaking off, we should check in, see what our next step should be,” Len added and Iris nodded, already going for her phone. Barry began patting his pockets and cursed, recalling his phone sitting under the register of his food truck. If it hadn’t been blown up, it was probably stolen by now. 

 

“Don’t bother,” Iris said absently as she tapped at her phone. “No one can know where you are, so no phone calls.”

 

“Can’t I at least make sure Caitlin and Cisco are ok?”

 

“They are, a secondary team picked them up a few minutes ago. They’re being put in protective custody,” Len informed him without looking up from his own phone.

 

Suddenly, they both groaned in frustration and annoyance.

 

“What now?”

 

“Babysitting,” Len spat, tossing his phone onto the couch in disgust.

 

“We’ve been told to sit tight until Eobard can be tracked down and caught,” Iris translated tiredly, flopping down onto the couch next to Barry. “There’s no way of knowing how long that’ll take.”

 

“So what, we’re just stuck here?”

 

“Yep.” Len dropped down on Barry’s other side, the pair of agents in agreement for the first time since they stepped through the door. “Indefinitely. Good news; there’s a tv and the couch folds out.”

 

“Why do I feel like there’s also bad news?” Barry asked, feeling utterly done. “Well, worse news, considering we’re stuck here.”

 

“I converted the bedroom into an armoury.”

 

“Where did you sleep when you were here?” Iris asked, looking confused.

 

“The couch.”

 

“Tell me you've got an inflatable mattress,” Iris groaned.

 

“Wish I could. A buddy of mine is gonna drop off some supplies tomorrow, I'll see what he can do.”

 

The evening turned into several long hours of tension, no one particularly trusting the others, so it had largely been spent in silence broken by cutting snark. Barry had escaped to the kitchen as long as he possibly could, preparing a meal from Len’s meager supply of tinned and dried food. Len and Iris’s compliments on the meal were the only really positive comments spoken all evening. Eventually, reluctantly, Len had folded the couch out so they could get some sleep.

 

This was how Barry ended up lying ramrod straight on a folded out couch between two grumpy agents. Len and Iris had been rather insistent he be in the middle, on the grounds being on the edges gave them a better chance of protecting him against an intruder. Personally, Barry thought it had more to do with their past liaison. So now he had to suffer, a warm inviting presence on either side of him that gave his traitorous brain all kinds of ideas. It didn’t help that they'd both admitted to trying to seduce him earlier, leading him to contemplate just what might have happened if he’d been just a little more astute.

 

None of them were sleeping either. Leonard and Iris were on alert for any attempts at intrusion, and Barry was wired from his strenuous day and the proximity of his beautiful bodyguards. After an hour, he gave up on trying to sleep.

 

“Why try seducing me?”

 

Neither answered immediately, but both stiffened either side of him, so he knew he’d been heard.

 

“Simplest way to get close to a target,” Len muttered finally.

 

“Oh,” Barry breathed out, feeling inexplicably disappointed. He berated himself for it, because what other reason could they possibly have had? Iris must have heard a note of it in his voice, because she rolled over to face him.

 

“We don’t have to do it that way, you know. We get a choice.”

 

“So you chose to seduce me?”

 

“You say that like you thought we wouldn’t.” Now Len had also turned over to join the conversation, frowning at him suspiciously in the light of the muted tv.

 

“Oh, well, um, it’s just, you guys are so, you know, and I’m just, I’m just me,” Barry stuttered out nonsensically, regretting having started the conversation. Len and Iris shared a look of mutual understanding across him, just like the one they’d shared on the battlefield. Honestly, the fact that these two beautiful people who were so utterly in sync weren’t together completely baffled him.

 

“Who was it?” Len demanded suddenly.

 

“Uh, who what?”

 

“Somebody’s clearly done a number on your self-esteem,” Iris stated bluntly, “and that is criminal. So, who?”

 

“What? No, there’s nothing wrong with my self-esteem,” Barry assured them hastily, scooting back up onto his elbows as though that would allow him to escape their intense and unnerving focus. “I am just, y’know, very aware of how hot you two are compared to me.”

 

“That’s because you can’t appreciate yourself like we do,” said Len, his voice somehow smoother and lower than it had been previously. It sent a shiver up Barry’s spine.

 

“And we are very appreciative,” Iris added, just as sultry as she raised up on her hands to crawl up the bed until their faces were level and tantalisingly close.

 

“But it seems we’ve been a little too subtle.” 

 

Barry hadn’t even noticed Len move, he’d been too enraptured watching Iris. But now he was very aware that Len was right there, mirroring Iris on his other side, their tshirts and boxers the only thing separating Barry from all that hard, lean muscle.

 

“I think we have,” Iris agreed playfully, biting her lip as she watched Barry’s blush spread. His heart raced in his chest, sending blood rushing to his face as well as further south. A warm palm came to rest low on Barry’s stomach at the same time as Iris dragged a single finger down his chest.

 

“I think it’s time we made things a little more obvious,” Len drawled, his hand sliding painstakingly up Barry’s torso, slowly dragging his shirt up in it’s wake. Barry shivered but didn’t protest.

 

“I completely agree.” 

 

Barry’s eyes widened as Iris sealed her words with a kiss. He had barely gotten a chance to marvel at the warm feel of her plush lips before they were replaced with Len’s, who was skillful and demanding. Barry blinked a little stupidly at them when he pulled away, looking at him expectantly.

 

“Is this really happening?” Barry found himself whispering in disbelief.

 

“Only if you want it to,” Iris assured him, to which he responded with a fierce nod. Len’s sultry chuckle was all the warning he got before both spies put their considerable skills to use.

**Author's Note:**

> And Barry now gets to spend several days being cherished. And helping Len and Iris work things out because he's still adamant they are perfect for each other. And ends up leaving that apartment with two badass significant others and a much more complicated life. Not that he's complaining.


End file.
